This is the first RAW I’ve watched since the brand split. I
see nothing has changed with the way RAW runs things. First things first, 15 minutes
of talking, then commercial, five minutes of talking, five mintues of
wrestling, commercial.
I counted five segments and two matches in the first hour,
one of which was a five minute squash between commercials and segments.
Hour two was two segments, three matches.
Hour three was two segments, two matches.
Here are a few high level observations before more
play-by-play like observations.
My how Roman Reigns has fallen. Now competing for the US
title against Rusev. Honestly, I don’t expect Reigns to go over against Rusev
who is working his tail off to get as much heat as he can just to get Reigns
over. If Reigns doesn’t win at Summerslam, we may not see him back in the main
event for a while.
Everyone seems to be talking about respect right now. The
only one who really struck me was Heath Slater. Slater got really over with me
in his segment, essentially demanding a trip to suplex city.
Having no commentators at ringside eliminates the
possibility of guys getting thrown over the table or getting smashed on it or
through it. Takes something away but is also refreshing. It does take away big
spots on tables though.
It seems that RAW is really going to make the third hour
count, something Smackdown can’t do.
Nothing regarding any of the main event
stuff happened in the first two hours. The problem with that is it will just
condition me to watch the final hour.
Opening segment
At least this time, it was Rusev but it didn’t take long for
Stephanie McMahon to be involved. Regins comes in and it seems the TV trucks
took all the bass out of the sound and turned up the high end to minimize the
boos and elevate the cheers.
Regins makes fun of Rusev for being ugly and stays on that
train. Mick gets a cheap pop right here in Corpus Christi, Texas. Rusev vs.
Reigns main event.
Sheamus vs. Sami Zayn
Honestly missed the talking segment from Sheamus, didn’t
mind that I missed it. Cesaro on commentary during the match.
The pair work a pretty standard match. One cool spot was
Sheamus catching Zayn on a tornado DDT and throwing him into the ringpost
outside the ring.
They’re spending more time building the RAW vs. Smackdown feud
than they are with the Sheamus vs. Cesaro feud. Sheamus has gotten all of his
spots in but White Noise and Brogue. Zayn just hit his first spot. Rally time.
Not yet.
White noise and Michael Cole is having a rough
night on commentary. Has called White Noise the Irish Curse and the Blue
Thunder Bomb a Michinoku Driver. Cesaro interferes into a Helluva Kick and that’s
all she wrote.
Winner: Sami Zayn w/ help from Cesaro
Jericho and Owens segment
Can we call them JerichOwens? These two are so good on the
mic and them working together makes me happy inside. “You’d better watch it.” I
love how Chris Jericho can get any phrase over. MC and I call each other “stupid
idiot” all the time. Commercial break
Speaking of commercials…this would make for a great
commercial. “WWE Monday Night RAW: You’d better watch it!”
Back from commercial and Cesaro and Sheamus are arguing.
Mick Foley does something really interesting. Sheamus and
Cesaro are going to be in a best-of-seven series. That’s a really cool idea.
New Day vs. Dudley Boyz
Anderson and Gallows come on mocking Big E, dressed as
doctors. I counted eight penis jokes in the course of their promo.
Bubba Ray is talking A LOT during this match. Working a
pretty standard face/heel match. They went to the hope spot too soon. Tag matches
need more than five minutes…especially when two of those minutes of talking.
Realistically, the match was just a reason for New Day to
get out in the ring so I’m not counting this as a match.
Four more penis jokes from Anderson and Gallows, aapparently
Anderson and Gallows are coming for Kofi and Xavier’s balls too.
New Day puts in a promo saying that Anderson and Gallows don’t
have the power of positivity or the power to touch their “New Day Rocks.”
Winner: New Day
Tease to Nia Jax and commercial.
Come back from commercial and Seth is looking for “The Demon
King” some more. Neville tells Seth Rollins he isn’t ready for “The Demon King”.
Nia Jax vs. Female Jobber No. 4
Jobber says that she’s going to win gold like Simone Biles.
Her name is Rachel Levity, I think I heard? She looks like a unicorn threw up
inside a hot topic. Nia Jax pushed her off the top rope though and now I think
she’s dead. Nia Jax always looks like she’s going to cry. Anyway, she won. Paul goes back to talk to Brock Lesnar.
Commercial.
Winner: Nia Jax
Brock Lesnar segment.
Paul Heyman comes out and does his normal shtick which is
still tremendous before being interupted by Heath Slater and his awesome new
music “I’m a one man band.”
Slater is demanding a match for respect with Brock Lesnar.
Brock actually does some okay mic work in a staredown with Heath Slater. Heath
tried to step up to Lesnar but gets a quick trip to Suplex City.
Slater did
some good mic work though in this segment.
Paul doesn’t miss a beat and gets right back into coming
after Randy Orton. Don't get the Network because spoiler alert Brock kills people.
Big Cass vs. Owens
I don’t expect this match to end with a pin. Enzo is just my
favorite guy right now. It’s absurd how over these two guys are right now.
Okay, Jeri-KO is a lot better than Jerich-Owens.
Owens works a really good heel match. Ducking out of the
ring, sneaking up from behind. Jericho just blindsided Cass and now the pair
are dominating outside while Enzo inadvertently provides the distraction. Real
good heel work by the pair.
Commercial
Cass just went from in the corner on his butt to into a big
boot to a running KO. Great spot. Cass rallies and Owens counters, sending Cass
out of the ring. Owens was looking for the apron bomb but it got reversed.
Shocking…Jericho came in and interfered with the match. I can’t believe that
just happened.
Now the beat down but Cass is fighting back. I have no idea
where Enzo is. He must have gone down during commercial? They finally show Enzo
out. That was weird.
Winner: Big Cass by DQ
Segment with Roman Reigns
Reigns says he’s going to represent his blood line and whoop
someones ass. He tries to channel some
Dwayne by making types of fight jokes.
Rusev breaks it up and the two fight in the back. The pipes! The pipes fell! In
any backstage fight, there will always be pipes falling. I don’t know why but I
love it. Rusev and Reigns get separated and commercial.
Primetime Players w/ Bob Backlund vs.Shining Stars
So the WWE idea of making Darren Young great again was to
get the primetime players back together. They start with a little chain
wrestling but Titus tags in. One problem, he wasn’t touching the corner. That’s
lazy reffing.
Also, I thought the Shining Stars were another job squad.
Apparently, they’re supposed to add depth and they’re likely not going over a
team that doesn’t even exist anymore. Booking 101, guys c’mon.
Titus just hit Darren Young with his finisher and the
Shining Stars go over? What the hell was that? So they just hurt Darren Young’s
push with that. Wow, talk about a swing from one way to the other.
Also, Titus is apparently heel now.
Winner: Shining Stars
Jinder Mahal vs. Neville
I like that they refer to Jinder Mahal as RAW’s newest
signee like we’re not supposed to remember that he’s already been a thing.
Apparently, he went over Slater which is causing this whole free agent thing
with Heath Slater which actually has potential.
This match is part of Neville’s “Hey, remember me?!” Tour.
Jinder Mahal is actually looking strong against Neville
here. Neville then starts working his spots including a crane kick hop on what
was his bad leg. Red Arrow. 1-2-3.
I’m a fan of the Red Arrow but I don’t like when finishing
moves hurt the person doing the move on the person taking the move.
Winner: Neville
Seth Rollins segment
Seth is still out looking for the Demon King. Mick and Steph
were talking about having Jon Stewart at Summerslam. Apparently, Stewart works
for WWE now.
Seth wants to take a night off after all his hard “work” to
find the Finn Balor. Mick tells Seth to go do it from the ring and so that’s
where he’s headed after Mick tells the crew to hit Seth’s music.
Commercial.
After Commercial Seth comes out and says that nothing can
stop him from being the Universal Champion. I still don’t like that name. Seth
is calling out Finn Balor. Pause. Longer pause. Nothing happens.
Seth uses the opportunity to put himself over. He claims
Balor is scared of him. Lights and audio doing spooky things as Seth Rollins
continues to talk. Now here comes Balor. Wonder if he’s going to be painted up.
Hey, he is.
So does this mean that Kane has to answer to Finn Balor?
It’s staredown time. Seems like they’re trying to start hour
three out with a bang. Balor and Rollins both get a couple shots in, Balor
misses the Coup de’ Grace but does go over in the segment as Rollins rolls out
of the ring.
More hype for Reigns and Rusev. They showed the same thing
at the beginning of the show. Reigns continues to just be douchebag frat boy
from Hawaii.
The Golden Truth vs. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows
Gallows and Anderson are coming down to the ring in their
doctor coats with Big E’s “egg”. They’re getting a lot of milage out of a dick
joke.
R-Truth gets worked over early. Goldust comes in off the hot
tag and delivers in the hope spot. Vintage Rhodes with the classic power slam.
Gallows and Anderson no sell it and a magic killer later the match is over.
New Day comes out and starts the beat down on Anderson and
Gallows. Kofi and Woods tease hitting Gallows in the nuts with the trombone but
Anderson pulls him to safety.
Winner: Anderson and Gallows
Charlotte and Dana Brooks are having a segment. Back-to-back
WWE Network plugs. Charlotte is doing the angry mentor angle. I think there was
a Devil Wears Prada reference. Why do I know that? I’ve never seen that movie.
Commercial
Charlotte vs. Alicia Fox
So RAW is going back to the old school where they already
have one competitor in the ring when the show comes back from commercial. Also,
hey remember Alicia Fox? She was on team Bella and was once considered a “tough
competitor” even though she lost to AJ Lee twice a week. This whole match was
just set up for Sasha Banks to talk trash for a while.
Winner: Charlotte
Charlotte is challenging Banks to come down to the ring.
Dana Brooke came out and took out Banks’ knee and now the Figure 8. It’s been
going on for a while. Now Banks is likely kayfabe injured for Sunday.
Commercial
They’ve already teased the Reigns/Rusev match and there’s
about half an hour left in the show. This could either be good or drag out
forever.
We’re back and some of that time is going to be sucked up by
a Braun Strowman promo. Not him talking or anything. Just him beating up a guy
that looks like your cousin Mikey.
Okay, it’s main event time. Lana is out in her wedding dress
still. Rusev coming out first. Oh I forgot, this match is for the honor of Lana
since her wedding was ruined.
Rusev soaking up the heat, going back to the old chestnut, “Hey,
I’m not American!” Reigns comes out from the curtain this time.
While we’re on the topic of that, Jinder Mahal came out in a
turban looking like Cricket from Always Sunny in Philadelphia. That was weird.
By the way, Reigns and Rusev are fighting and the match hasn’t
officially started yet. They were both in the ring at one point and I’ve seen
plenty of matches start with fighting and have the bell ring. Lazy reffing pt.
deux.
Commercial
Rusev vs. Roman Reigns
Apparently the match started in the break and now Rusev is
working Reigns’ arm and leg. I still really hate that Roman Reigns uses the
SHIELD music and still wears body armor. Even if you’re in just an undershirt
and jeans (Hi, Dean).
Reigns catches Rusev with a Samoan Drop and has started the
rally. Rusev squashes the hope spot and is now working over Reigns on the
outside. Rusev seems content to just beat down Reigns. Rusev went for the DQ,
trying to hit Reigns with the belt but Reigns counters.
Commercial
We’re back and Rusev is on the mic, telling people to cheer for
the Russian and the Bulgarian. Rusev still dominating that arm and working it
over with Sunday on his mind. Rusev is actually using Reigns’ padded vest
against him. See Roman? Ditch it.
It seems like they’re trying to build sympathy for Reigns
but it’s just not working. Rusev sets Reigns up on the top rope and Reigns
counters. After a rest spot, Reigns starts building momentum but gets squashed
again.
Reigns is kicking out of everything. Rusev has hit four
diving headbutts and Reigns has kicked out. Suddenly out of nowhere, a Roman
chant…that’s weird. Rusev misses the fifth diving headbutt and the pair exchange
punches.
Reigns gets the upper hand and sends him out. By the way,
this has dragged on. Superman punch outside the ring countered by a chest kick.
Rusev went to the big kick, countered with a superman punch kickout at two by
Rusev.
Reigns is first to his feet and went for the spear. Two huge
kick counters and a false finish for Rusev again. Reigns just won’t go away…in
this match…or in general for that matter.
Reigns is fighting out from the accolade and then a huge
chop block by Rusev. Accolade locked in now. Reigns won’t tap and drags his way
to the rope.
A really sloppy exchange complete with Rusev falling out of
the ring and then rolling back in to get a spear and that’s the end of the
match.
Winner: Roman Reigns
So Rusev does not defend the honor of his bride on live TV.
Ladies and gentlemen…your main event.
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